Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Ready and Waiting...

So, I started my maternity leave yesterday and now I actually have time to blog! I realize that it has been a long time since I have posted anything. There are so many excuses that I could make, but I will go with the most obvious one. I have been too busy to get the internet stuff sorted out at our apartment and it hasn't really been a priority since James and I have internet access at work and the public library is a bout two blocks away from where we live. Also I have been really busy trying to get everything in order for the baby and completing my master's degree program at the same time. So anyway, I have actually been typing things to post on my blog, but then by the time I get in a position that I could actually post it, the material is outdated! So anyway, I will try and give a general update today and maybe get some pictures posted in the next few days.

Moving
James and I have relocated to Tupelo, Miss. He is working as a design engineer at FMC in Saltillo. He seems to like it a lot. His previous job was in quality and he really wanted to focus more on design and we both feel this will be better long term. We had decided when children arrived that we would like to be closer to our parents. After finding out we were expecting, we considered waiting a year and staying where we were in Clarksdale or moving closer to his job in Batesville, but that would require either leaving the baby with someone we didn't know (day care) or me not working at all and staying home with the baby. Day care was not an option I felt I could live with, and I am afraid staying at home all day would drive me crazy (baby or no baby). Plus, we both felt it would be easier to make a move before we have children. I knew my mom wanted to stay home with the baby and I want to work in an environment where I can leave work at work and enjoy my husband and baby.

School, work and play
I am still trying to figure out how to do the whole career, wife, mother and active member of a church and community thing, I have faith it will all work out though. I am currently (before I took maternity leave anyway) working on a part time basis with the special education program at the high school I once attended. I also occasionally get to tutor students for the English II test.

Re-entering the Twighlight Zone
It is very strange coming back to my old high school. The first week I was there two students approached me and asked where James was (my husband). I was annoyed and amused that they would think I would bring him to work with me. One of the boys knows James from the coffee house and one of them I have know most of his life as he went to church with us and our parents are friends. I have found it very odd that I actually know more students at the high school now--through the coffee house--than I did when I was a student there almost seven years ago. It is also very strange to be known as Mr. Mike or Mrs. Alison's daughter, or Carrie's sister or even as James' wife instead of just as Isla. When I lived there before no one had any idea who I was or who my parents were, etc.

A strange twist
I am sure Carrie would get a big kick out of people referring to me as her sister. In fact the counselor at the school now was not there while I was there, but was there for Carrie's senior year. She went on and on about how smart Carrie was, and then as sort of an after thought asked what sort of student I had been! This is possibly the first time anyone had ever said anything like that to me. Normally, because I was the oldest and teachers had me first, Carrie would get asked if she was as smart as I was, but never the other way round. It was an odd moment for me.
The first few weeks of school I was staying with my parents (while James and I found a place to live) and I found myself getting choked up the first couple times I drove to school. It dawned on me that I had probably never drove to the high school by myself before. By the time I was old enough to drive, Carrie was at the high school too, and so she was always with me. It was very sad to make the drive by myself.
I have also been surprised about the number of people who seem indignant that I don't live (or want to live) in town, that I would rather live in Tupelo. The thing is some of them are the same teachers that always made me feel like I did not belong there, that I was an outsider and now they are indignant that I do not want to live there? Some of them have already mentioned how odd it will be for them teaching my children, and I have just smiled and said that will be a long ways off (to avoid telling them that we don't plan on enrolling our children in schools there--we moved to Tupelo for a reason)! Plus, I promised myself a long time ago, if I ever became a teacher I would not teach at the same school my children attended and if possible I would not teach in the same district! In general it has been a strange experience and I still have very mixed opinions about returning to the town (even though I am not living there).

Location, Location, Location!
James and I love living in Tupelo! There is plenty to keep us occupied and we enjoy taking walks uptown. We recently joined the First Presbyterian Church and we really enjoy the church activities that we have had the energy and time to participate in so far. We live right off of Main Street and our apartment is great. We were originally looking at renting a house, until we get a little bit more familiar with Tupelo and know more about where we would want to buy a house, but we came across this apartment by chance and fell in love with it. I will try and get some picture up of it soon! It is in an old house that has been completely remodeled and split into four flats (it isn't really a traditional apartment). We live in an upstairs flat and have wonderful views of the area from our balcony/porch and windows. It is within walking distance to many downtown attractions (i.e. restaurants, bars, a pub, a theater, and the farmers market). There are several parks close by, when we want a change of scenery for our walks, and the newest developmental area, the Fairpark district, is a few blocks away. As a result we will soon be within walking distance of many new shops, more restaurants and a cinema. It is lots of fun!

Middle School + Social Studies = Happiness?
Monday, before I left, my principal asked if I would consider teaching full time after Christmas. It seems like there might be an opening at the middle school for a social studies teacher. That would be perfect. I would love to teach social studies, where as I just like teaching English. Though I never thought I would say this, I actually miss 7th graders! So anyway, I am trying not to get my hopes up, but I really do miss teaching, and I would like to return to the middle school level.
As far as long term goals, I am actually considering taking courses during the summer to try and get qualified in Elementary education. It would probably take a few years and I am still not sure that I want to do it (especially considering how much I would love to teach Social Studies), but I have a real passion for reading instruction. Everything that I have done in my master's degree program has convinced me that education is the right field for me, but I am still not quite sure I have found where I fit into it. I want to take some more psychology classes, especially developmental psychology and early childhood education classes.
By the time a student gets to me now and cannot read, there is not a lot that can be done and it breaks my heart. I guess I just want to get to the root of the problem, or at least explore the problem more. I also feel that if a child does not get adequate education in the elementary grades, there is little good you can do for him or her in middle school and high school. Who knows what I will be doing in a year? I am still trying to figure things out, and my life moves so fast (at least it seems to me it does), everything changes so much I never know what will happen next.

Any day now!
I finished my last class meeting for my master's degree program this past Saturday. So now all I have left is an evaluation, when I return to work after Christmas, and a portfolio presentation in April. I still have some work to do on my portfolio, but right now I am more focused on having this baby!
Today I begin my 36th week of pregnancy (according to my doctor) and the baby's growth rate is equal with that of a baby at 38 weeks. Last week we had an ultrasound that put his weight at around 7lbs, so I don't even want to think about how big he would be now! I am in good health and the baby is too, we had an appointment this past Monday. The doctor says the baby could come any day and that we will consider inducing if I don't have him by next week (because of his size--neither the doctor nor I want a 10-12 lb baby).
James and I are hoping he will arrive by this weekend as I am pretty miserable. Seeing as the ultrasound put him at about the same weight I was when I was born (and he still had five weeks to his due date then), it is possible that many pregnant women never have to deal with carrying as heavy a baby as I am. It is like we have been nine months pregnant for an entire month now (weight wise for the baby).
He has dropped into my pelvis making walking very uncomfortable. Actually, anytime I change positions it is uncomfortable! If I sit down too fast it feels like I hit his head on the seat! When I walk I can feel his head rolling around inside my hip bones. Surely he can't stay like that for too much longer? We have also noticed a decrease in his movement (maybe because his head is stuck in my pelvis) and I have experienced a loss of appetite (and an increase in heart burn, even though I am not eating very much). In addition, the swelling has gotten worse (so bad that I gained 8lbs of fluid in one week) and I am having to take added iron supplements because he is draining me of all of mine!

Have we lost our minds?
Despite all of this, we are already talking about having more children, and we are so excited about his upcoming birth. It seems very strange to be excited about something I know will be very painful, but I have waited almost nine months to have this baby and I can't wait to see him. I also think it is strange that we can be so excited about him when about a year ago we still weren't sure we wanted children. Even though we were surprised to learn of his existence we have both never considered not wanting him. Like so much of life, it doesn't necessarily make sense, but I am very glad it is happening to us. I just hopes it happens to us soon! As most of you know I am not a very patient person, and I am not sure that I like sitting home waiting to go into labor!