Long overdue and much requested updates.

I am fourteen weeks pregnant tomorrow. I have been feeling the baby move for quite a while now. I didn't feel Jake move until 17 weeks, and even that is early for a first time pregnancy, but the doctor did warn me it would probably be much sooner this time, I just didn't think it would be as soon as it was! I keep asking James if I was this tired with Jake or if he thinks it is because I am depressed about the other two babies. I checked my archives from the same time frame that I was pregnant with Jake two years ago and discovered that I did not blog anything but ultrasound pictures from April 11th till June 13th. I am still sort of in denial about this pregnancy. When I hear about other people finding out they are pregnant I find that my reaction is a fear for them, instead of the joy for them I probably would have felt before my losses. In saying that though, I can remember being very cautious with my pregnancy with Jake. I didn't buy a single thing for him until I was almost 8 months pregnant. I was worried I was going to somehow jinx it. I know that is silly, but I have found myself putting off buying any more maternity clothes. Today was the first day that I actually wore a full blown maternity shirt and pants. I have been wearing an occasional Old Navy Maternity T-shirt, but nothing obviously maternity until today. My boss was shocked, she said I looked like my belly had popped out overnight. I think it is just now that I am wearing maternity clothes instead of really baggy regular clothes (two sizes larger than normal) I actually look pregnant and not fat. I am starting to get more energy but it is very sporadic. I do remember that I didn't even start feeling better with Jake until I was 14 weeks. We went to the doctor on Wednesday. We heard the heartbeat, a very healthy 163 beats per minute, and scheduled an ultrasound for Wednesday June 13th during which we will find out if Jake is getting a little brother or little sister for his birthday. My mom thinks this one is girl, James and I think it is a boy. The only thing I really have to base it on is the pregnancy itself. This pregnancy has been almost exactly like my pregnancy with Jake, down to the cravings. In fact the only difference so far is that I have only gained 3 lbs, I think by now with Jake I had gained 20! My face has swollen so it looks like I have gained more than three lbs but the doctor scales confirmed what mine at home recorded, so I guess it is just one fo those things that happens. I am eating the exact same things as I did with Jake so I don't know why this is. Maybe it was the stressful work environment I was in (MTC) and working on my masters full time. I am glad that this time the weight gain is slower. I gained a grand total of 75 lbs with Jake (although the 8lbs a week I gained the last three weeks was mostly fluid). I don't know how much was what, but the week after Jake was born I lost 40 lbs! The 35 remaining lbs were not easy to loose, but it was all off by the time he was 8 months old. Hopefully I can loose it as quickly this time too!

Jake turned 18 months old today! I can't believe how big he is getting. It seems like he says at least one new word each day. He is kind of shy about saying them on demand, but he runs around muttering them when you least expect it. A minute ago he was cuddling with me on the couch watching the news, we were trying to tape the segment about my Daddy/ his Papaw winning the Jefferson Award for the Coffee House (when daddy/papaw came on the TV screen Jake pointed and said Papoo, I called my dad at the Coffee House to tell him that I taped it and what Jake had said and when Jake heard my day on the speaker phone he said Papoo again). Jake popped his feet up on my rapidly growing belly and said " baby" and pointed to my stomach and said "Mama Baby". I am constantly having to tell him not to jump on the baby and that there is a baby in Mama's belly now and we have to be nice to it. He know how to say baby, but this is the first time he has said it in reference to the new baby. Our doula (birth attendant) was amazed at how much he understand us. When he starts jumping up and down and makes his fussy caveman noise, I tell him "no fuss, tell mama" and he will point while jabbering away in words that almost sound like what he is pointing at. We finally found some alphabet letters for the refrigerator and he will bring me letters to ask what they are, then he tries to repeat it. I show him how I say things (mouthing it when I say it so that he can see my tongue and teeth positions, overexagerating the parts he has trouble with). He has actually caught on to what I am doing and will try to do the same thing. As a result he can now say light properly. He still has a little trouble with the initial "L" sound, but it is amazing how fast he learns. He recognizes lights everywhere and fusses if he sees a light that is turned off. As a result of this I turned all the interior lights in my vehicle on last Sunday and we forgot to turn them off when we got home (it is hard to notice in daylight) and it ran my battery down. When I say he notices lights everywhere, I mean everywhere. At the doctor's office he noticed the exam light and was fussing at us all because he wanted it on. I don't know how he know some things are lights? He opens up his books (and magazines and folders) and pretend reads out loud. He will walk around the house singing his ABC's, which he gets at least a fourth of the letters right surprisingly, and EIEIO ma ma, EIEIO mama over and over. He makes up words to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Itsy Bitsy Spider. He has been going through a growth spurt here lately and is eating more and more solid foods. He has all of his teeth now (except his two year molars). He has figured out how to get into the pantry and he will bring us cans and boxes of stuff he wants to eat (I keep all the glass and/or heavy unJake friendly items way out to his reach). The other day he brought me an unopened box of tea and was fussing about it. He doesn't even know what some of the stuff is, he is just curious. That is just one of the many reasons why we call him a little monkey.

The last week of April was the last week of my old job and the very next week I started my new job. My old job was supposedly to teach 4th-6th graders at one of the Tupelo Public Schools supplemental reading. The past few years the program has targeted children who scored proficient in Reading on the Mississippi Curriculum Tests, but that are not pulled out already for gifted, and pull them out on the same day as the gifted kids to work on enhancing their reading skills so that they will score advanced the next testing cycle. That is what they told me I would be doing when I interviewed. I only had to work 16 hours a week (2 and half days because the 16 hours only counted times I had students not lunch times or lulls in between sessions with students), which sounded great because I could spend more time with Jake. It sounded like a dream come true. Then they decided to change the program and waited until August to tell me. So it ended up being me administering a computer program that was supposed to teach struggling readers how to read. I went from preparing for the smart kids to dealing with several students who could not read at all and a few who no habla ingles. So as if I hadn't already had enough experience from my stint in the Delta with behavior problematic youth who can't read and want to take it out on me, I now have another year's experience. I did, however, get a chance to peak inside the Tupelo Public School System and I am pleased with most of which I saw. We will probably be moving back inside Tupelo city limits before Jake starts school if we end up staying in this area.

My new job is not as part time as I would like, but I am hoping it will become more part time by this November. I am the new editor for The Baldwyn News. That means I write most of the articles, take most of the pictures and lay out most of the pictures. Baldwyn is a small town about 4 miles North of where we live now. I am not sure yet how well I like or dislike the job. I do wish it were more part time. I worked between 26-27 hours a week each week for the last few weeks, not counting lunch, so it isn't too much. I already get Wednesday off and half a day on Tuesdays, but I really don't see the point of going in a whole day on Thursdays either. I have yet to do anything really productive on a Thursday. No matter how hard I try, no one returns my calls on a Thursday. I do enjoy working with a Mac again though. I think I will like it better when my mom gets back from Scotland. I liked it before she left. It is only the past two weeks I have dreaded it and I think that is mostly because Jake has thrown a fit everyday when I left for work. I feel so guilty. I don't have to work, James has a good job and I don't get paid much for what I am doing, but it is something I want to do. I think anyway. Ask me next week how I feel about it. I guess I am just worried that I haven't given the stay at home mom thing enough of a chance and that I am being selfish by wanting to work. I do still plan on going back to school when this next baby is older.

Well, I think that covers everything for now. I do have a bunch more pictures of things we have done around the house and Jake helping of course, I will try to find them and post them later. We are having James' parents, my parents and James' sibling over this Monday for Memorial Day so maybe I will have some pictures of that to post as well. I am looking forward to picking my mom up at the airport tomorrow. She has been in Scotland visiting her parents as well as other family and friends. I have really missed her the past two weeks and I know Jake has too.