No I am not dead, just dead tired.

Well so much has happened since I last blogged (that sounds disgusting doesn’t it). Today was the first day of school for my students and… …I am still alive. I started moving stuff from our house in Water Valley to our town house in Clarksdale last Thursday (July 29) and we moved our last box into the house this past Monday (Aug. 2). I had to report to my school district on July 29th for new teacher orientation and in service (I even had to go on Saturday). My last day of Teacher Corps (TC) summer classes was July 23 where I found out that the TC person I had grown closest to during the summer had quit the program. I also discovered that another person I did not so well was going to be teaching the same class as I am at the same school as I am (She was previously assigned to one of the high schools in the same town as me—Cleveland—and I was the only TC person that was going to be at my school). Since then she and I have bonded and it has definitely turned out to be a good thing as Martha Stuart would say. I also painted almost every single piece of furniture James and I own. So as you can see I have been really busy over the last two weeks, but in order to paint an accurate picture of what I have been going through I am going to write about each event as if it is the day that it actually happened.

The First Day of School
Despite all of my fears and frustration today went a million times better than I could have ever hoped for. While I still have 32 students in the period right after lunch (and it is a learning strategies class which means they are slow learners or have failed for behavior problems), I did not kill them and I think everything went okay. I left the school at four thirty feeling a lot more confident in my ability as a teacher and with lots of ideas of what to do different tomorrow. I know that the students tend to behave better during those first few days, sort of a honeymoon period before they show their true colors. I have been laying down the law, but it is hard because my school has so many stupid (contradictory and misspelled) rules. Despite my many requests the school saw fit not to give us a copy of the student handbook until the day before school started and we did not receive our class rolls until 3:30 the day before school started. Not that that really matters because the schedules are all messed up and will be changed over the weekend. Until then I have been ordered to teach rule and nothing but rules. I was told that our school was trying to reduce its student teacher ratio and so I should expect between 12 and 20 students per class. In fact twenty-five desks were crammed in my tiny little room and I had discussed the possibility of removing some of them to give me more room. So at 3:30 pm the day before school they decide to tell me that I will have one class that has 32 students in it (that is the legal limit and I am the only one that has that many at a time during any period in my school). Not only to I have to find seven desks but find a way to cram them in my room. As a result Evy and I stayed well after the other teachers trying to get things ready. I was not issued a teacher handbook or a bell schedule (we don’t have bells so I have to know what time to dismiss them) until today during the middle of the morning! Out of everyone at our school I feel that only about 4 people have tried to help me in any way shape or form—that is a little frustrating. But tomorrow is another day!

A cheesy poem I wrote in my head while driving home after spending around 12 hours at school preparing for the next day…

'Twas the Night Before School Starts
And all through the school
Only two teachers were present
Busy writing our rules

We belong to the Teacher Corps
Because we believe
Delta students deserve more
Than they currently receive

You want to teach where?
Our friends and family implore
Do you know what you’re getting into?
Are you really sure?

Where are all the others
The state pays to teach?
At home in their beds?
Or still at the beach?

Do they not care about the students?
Do they not like their career?
Why are they all so bitter,
Negative and without cheer?

Our principal doesn’t like us
But not ‘cause she’s a snob
Last year her TC math teacher
Quit just two days into the job

So right from the start
We have a lot to prove
To our principal and students
And ourselves too


It is all for the children
We constantly say
And hope that will help us
Survive the first day!


The Frustration Mounts
All summer I have wondered why teachers have such a high drop out rate, now I know. Although my students have not arrived in my room yet I do not think that any of them could possibly be as frustrating as other teachers.
A few observations:
1. Teachers/Administrators talk a lot of talk but don’t do a lot of walking if you know what I mean.
2. If the education system was run like a business than most of those involved would be fired.
3. We don’t just have teacher shortage problem, we have a severe good teacher shortage. I am surprised by the amount of teachers at my school who can’t speak proper English and show signs of a poor/mislead education.
4. Teachers like to complain (what am I doing now?).
5. Don’t ask your administrators questions.
6. As a first year teacher you are supposed to know everything but you will not be told any of it even if you ask multiple people multiple times.
7. Anything and everything you are told by anyone is subject to change at anytime!
8. Don’t trust anyone!
9. If I were to run my classroom and/or treat my students the way that I have been treated by my administration they would fire me in a heartbeat.
10. It is impossible for teachers to get along. Most teachers are women. This actually adds fuel to my theory about weddings—when you involve more than one female in anything you are asking for trouble. Men get along with other men. Women get along pretty well with just men (even if it is a love to hate relationship) but women do not like, will not help, and do not work well with other women.
11. In staff development meetings all they do is tell you what not to do (in negative ‘do not’ form) then they send you to your classroom where you have to be sure to post your class rules in the positive---Remain in your seat vs. Do not get out of your seat.
“Oh, the irony!”, as Evy said during one of our countless staff development meetings which never start on time, in which you learn absolutely nothing useful and get chewed out for asking questions such as “can we have a hand book” or “when do we receive class rolls” if we were lucky enough that they actually attempted to answer our questions nine out of ten times their answer would be wrong (and we would later be scolded for acting on the wrong information).

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
I am sick of new teacher orientations, school district orientations, school specific orientations—I could live a very long and happy life without ever attending another orientation (or moving again for that matter). All of the orientations just sort of morph together in my mind after awhile and no matter how interesting they try and make it I have already heard it at some point and time earlier this summer. I had never heard of Harry Wong or Madeline Hunter before this summer but I have been so submerged in the almost cult like attachment that administrators seem to have for them that I think I could write their next books for them.

Our Welcome Party has Arrived
James heard that mosquitoes in Clarksdale were bad but when I got in my car this morning to go to work there were a swarm of mosquitoes waiting on me in my car. I think they must have gotten in while we unpacked. Also when I woke up this morning I had mosquito bites on my neck, arms, foot and even one on my nose (pretty much anything that was not under the covers) so I am guessing some got in the house as well.

Paint it Black
Where are the Rolling Stones when you need them? Probably on some farewell tour somewhere for the fifth or sixth hundredth time. James and I spent four straight days painting most of our furniture black. One day I painted for 11 hours with only about two 25-minute breaks all day. All the hard work was definitely worth it as it really tied in the rest of furniture and looks really good. It was all inspired by my birthday present from James and I will be sure to take pictures once we get everything set up at our new house.

Decisions
Perhaps the only person I feel that I have really connected with this whole summer just quit the program. I am being selfish in missing her because I know that she did what was best for her. I am not mad at her for quitting and I do not really understand the people who are. In the infamous words of Forest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

Teacher Corps in Review
I am leaving my summer school program and my classmates and embarking into the unknown. I feel scared and all alone. I am not sure how adequate my training has been this summer. For this to be a graduate program so far the classes have been a piece of cake. I have a 4.0 on my first 9 hours in grad school. I didn’t do that good my first semester in college (of course I was taking 21 hours and in an honor program but still I somehow imagined a masters program would be a lot harder than any of that). I think the most helpful experience will probably be the student teaching experience at Oxford Middle School. The least helpful experience will probably be the TEAM experience although the workshop week rivals as a close second. My favorite thing all summer was when Reggie Barnes came and talked to us. A few months from now I might feel differently but for now, that is where I stand!

I Fought the TEAM and the TEAM won.
I feel like I deserve a t-shirt or something. I hate hypocrisy (although I realize we all do it from time to time). If you are going to tell all of us to speak correct English at all times, you should too (this summer we were taught this is called modeling behavior for your students). If you take off points you should explain why and/or if a student makes a mistake you should correct it as soon as possible instead of allowing them to continually make the same mistake and then failing them for it (at least in theory). You should always be consistent especially when grading (I guess unless you are grading other teachers—then apparently it is okay). I think teachers should stop and listen to themselves once and awhile and make sure they practice what they preach!