Busy, Busy, Busy

This is currently my second home- Bowen Hall- home of the Political Science department at Mississippi State University (yes you read that correctly) which houses my Ph.D. program in Public Policy and Administration. The Graduate Assistant offices are on the third floor on the far left. Below I took some pictures from inside my office (cubicle) mainly so Jake could see where I work. I have a few more pictures of things at and around MSU that I need to post, but I have been insanely busy. This semester I am shadowing a section of American Politics (which means I have to attend the class, teach a few lectures for him and do basic things like take attendence), I am doing twenty hours of research each week for two different professors (one on Same-Sex Marriage Legislation in all 50 states, one on Transportation Policy), taking three classes which have weekly writing assignments and a combined reading load of at least 600 pages of academic reading (hard to comprehend, repetitive and sometimes very boring stuff) plus I am supposed to find time for my own research projects (one is due by the end of the semester for each class) which should result in three 25-page (minimum) research papers. Oh, and I am trying to find time to breathe, and spend time with James and the kids. I feel like I am treading water. I hope that I get a better handle on things soon. I am tempted to drop down to part time next year if I feel it is taking too much time away from other things (people) that I love. Don't get me wrong, I am thouroughly enjoying it- I just don't want to miss out on the lives of my kids either!

South Heaven?

Since returning from Scotland Jake has been asking a lot about G.G. Mac and G.G. Bill. I tell him that G.G. Mac is at her house in Scotland, but then he persists about G.G. Bill. I didn't quite know what to tell him. I believe in honesty but how do you explain death to a two-year old. He did the same thing when James' Papaw Carr died this past January and someone told him that Papaw Carr was in heaven now. So I thought it would make sense to him if I explained it that way and told him G.G. Bill was in heaven with Papaw Carr. Jake then asked if he lived with Cheri (James's sister). I thought he was confused and meant my sister, Carrie, even though I don't remember telling him that Carrie lives in heaven. So I asked him if he meant my sister Carrie, and that yes she lived in heaven with Papaw Carr and G.G. Bill. He then asked if Uncle John lived with them and it finally dawned on me that he apparently thinks Southaven and Heaven are the same place. John and Cheri do live in Southaven but not South Heaven, so I hope we have cleared that up without confusing him (or those of you reading this) too much. I am aware that Jake has no concept of what we mean when we say someone has gone to heaven, perhaps that is why I never used it when telling him about Carrie. I just always say she doesn't live here anymore, which is the most honest I think I can be. I can see how this parenting thing is only going to get more difficult.

Rise and Shine!

I think I have written before that my favorite part of the day (as a mother) is first thing in the morning. Friday morning I took some pictures to illustrate why. Normally Mari wakes up first and then I bring her to bed with me for cuddles and Jake wakes up and walks down anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour later and we all cuddle and just play around on the bed before we head downstairs for breakfast (and coffee for me). I only get to do this on the days I am home with them (not days I go to work) but it is a wonderful stress free way to start the day. Of course not everyday starts off like this, but moments like this are some of the simplest and happiest I will probably ever have.

You can see her TWO bottom teeth. The second one came through on 08-08-08. We refer to it as her "lucky" tooth. So far the only the only luck it has brought her is an increased ability to bite through cardboard and paper. Below you can see her eyes are still very big and blue!

Jake was playing peek-a-boo with the curtains.

My Grandfather

Well as most of you probably know my grandfather (Mum's Dad) Bill McLean passed away the day after my last post. I am glad that we all got to see him and I had a really nice talk with him about going back to school and the kids the first night I got there. I am also glad that he got to see Jake again and meet Mari. I am glad that he didn't have to suffer as some do with a long drawn out battle with cancer. I am glad that he was surrounded by family. I am glad that I had 27 years to get to know him. I have many fond memories of baking bread and picking elder berries with him when he would come visit us in the summer. He will be missed. He already is missed. It is still very surreal. It is taking a while to sink in. He was in the hospital before we arrived and the day we got to Dunoon they had moved him to the hospice there. It was easy to just 'pretend' he was still at the hospice. But then we went to the airport and it hit me that we could not come back and see him ever again. Airports were generally a big part of my summers. I can remember us going to pick him up at the airport and going to take him back to the airport, occasionally he would come pick us up and take us back to the airport when we came to see him and Gran. Many people have told me how lucky I was to have even known my grandfather. I have been fortunate to know all four of my grandparents and several of my great grandparents. But death is not an easy thing at any age or stage of life. Seventy-seven does not feel like very old any more. The fact that I realize I am lucky to have known him does not make loosing him easier. I have not really known what to say for a long time and I don't feel like I have expressed my self well in this post. It was mainly to explain why I haven't posted for a while and why I haven't posted any more of the millions of pictures that I took in Scotland. It seems strange even looking at them. Maybe I will post them one day, maybe I won't. I still haven't decided. But regardless, now doesn't feel like the right time.

Fun with Family